A recurring theme that seemed to pop up frequently during the last two months was the idea of moments in time. A friend suggested it as a topic and even though it is not an easy topic to explore, my inquisitive nature would not allow me to let it lie.
Our lives are made up of a series of moments, sometimes good, sometimes bad. Sometimes these moments present choices that will affect our lives in profound ways. In one moment, a relationship can start or end. Friendships can me made or ruined. In some of the rarer moments you can change your life (or that of someone else) for the better. Unfortunately lives can also take a turn for the worse in these moments.
It is only natural that we want the bad moments to pass swiftly and the good ones to last forever. We would like to avoid moments with difficult choices or, if impossible to avoid, attempt to make the choice with the least amount of risk. It also often happens that we are involved in moments where we are but witnesses or catalysts. It could be a pivotal moment for someone else and you are powerless to influence the outcome.
The question was asked: How do we make the (good) moment last?
Is it possible to make a moment last longer? I believe it is. There are ways to make a moment last longer in time, to make a moment last an hour instead of 5 minutes. It has to do with conversation options, how well you know the other people involved and how well you know yourself. But the idea I would like to explore is something different.
I do not see time as linear. The reason for this is that time, and how quickly or slowly it passes, is often dependent on perception. Sometimes an hour can feel like 10 minutes or 10minutes can feel like an hour. I believe there are ways to control how we perceive time. It is not easy because it requires us to me more aware of ourselves and our thought processes. It is something we can learn though…
To borrow a term from new-age and spirituality beliefs, I will explore the idea of ‘living in the moment’. I find it sad that good ideas and philosophies can loose a lot of value because of its source. I dislike the airy-fairy, not scientific, non-empirical assumptions that new-age belief systems make, but then, my own belief system is not based on a lot more.
Now, back to the topic of ‘living in the moment’. I think most of us don’t live in every second of a minute. Unfortunately we are creatures that get distracted easily. There are countless things that interfere with our thoughts and perceptions in the space of a second. It could be stress at work, effects of a previous moment in our lives, plans for the rest of the day, shopping lists or anything else that has nothing to do with the moment we are in. Sometimes the moment itself can present distractions, introducing thoughts that send you off on tangents. Sometimes these tangents can be meaningful, can enhance the moment, but they can also subtract from the moment.
The ‘good moments’ that we remember are most likely moments where we managed to put all these distractions aside. With no interference, we are able to enjoy the moment to its full potential. You can immerse yourself in the moment, use all your senses to explore the moment and find all there is to find.
How then, with all these variables, can we live in the moment?
To live in the moment takes hard work and practice. You need to be aware of the distractions and make a conscious effort not to indulge in them. Some distractions are put aside more easily than others. The easy ones are the place to start. Being aware of them and denying them access to the moment will make it easier to ignore the bigger ones. In the beginning this process could be a distraction in itself but it becomes second nature after a while. Focusing on the moment at hand becomes easier. Every second of the moment will become meaningful.
Do I claim I can do this? By no means but I am getting better at it. ;)
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
Choices, choices, choices
Have you ever played an RPG with multiple endings? The ending depends on choices you make during the game. I usually like to save the game before those choices and play out all the different endings. I believe that I am attracted to RPG’s because of how it imitates real life. During our lifetime we are forced to make an almost infinite amount of choices ranging from mundane to life changing. Each choice we make has some sort of effect. Sometimes these effects are so small that we do not even notice them.
I can not help but wonder what lies at the other end (or ends) of the choices we make. According to some theories in string-theory there are an infinite amount of parallel worlds. Some of you might have seen the movie called ‘Sliding Doors’. What if each of these parallel worlds, represent a different choice with a different outcome. Would they all converge on the same ending like in the movie? Can an infinite amount of choices lead to a finite amount of endings or does it lead to an infinite number of endings? How much effect can my choices have on the rest of the world? Does the ‘butterfly effect’ really apply?
These are questions that, as yet, have no answers but it is clear that our choices have a great effect on our own lives. In an ideal world, we would have all the information necessary to make an informed choice, to choose the outcome that we would prefer. On one hand, it irks me that I cannot always predict what the outcome of my choices will be, or which choice is the best.
We use the resources we have at the time, gather information, compare and weigh, list pros and cons, just to decide whether we should get the vanilla or the choc-mint ice cream. It is always easy to say you should have chosen differently after a choice was made, but even then, you can not be a 100% sure the outcome would have been preferable.
Every choice we make has a price but we rarely know what that price is. What do you sacrifice by choosing one thing over another? What things do you miss out on by going one way rather than another? Can one choice determine that you will never be happy or will there always be a chance to return to happiness? People suffering from decidophobia are so afraid of making (wrong) choices that they depend on others to make their choices for them.
You can spend a lifetime second-guessing your own choices. That is why I decided not to regret any choice I make. In this world, this one continuous moment of consciousness, I will make my choices and stick with them, even if the outcomes are less than desirable. Perhaps there is a me in one of those parallel worlds that made all the right choices and is living the best life imaginable. That thought is enough…for now.
I can not help but wonder what lies at the other end (or ends) of the choices we make. According to some theories in string-theory there are an infinite amount of parallel worlds. Some of you might have seen the movie called ‘Sliding Doors’. What if each of these parallel worlds, represent a different choice with a different outcome. Would they all converge on the same ending like in the movie? Can an infinite amount of choices lead to a finite amount of endings or does it lead to an infinite number of endings? How much effect can my choices have on the rest of the world? Does the ‘butterfly effect’ really apply?
These are questions that, as yet, have no answers but it is clear that our choices have a great effect on our own lives. In an ideal world, we would have all the information necessary to make an informed choice, to choose the outcome that we would prefer. On one hand, it irks me that I cannot always predict what the outcome of my choices will be, or which choice is the best.
We use the resources we have at the time, gather information, compare and weigh, list pros and cons, just to decide whether we should get the vanilla or the choc-mint ice cream. It is always easy to say you should have chosen differently after a choice was made, but even then, you can not be a 100% sure the outcome would have been preferable.
Every choice we make has a price but we rarely know what that price is. What do you sacrifice by choosing one thing over another? What things do you miss out on by going one way rather than another? Can one choice determine that you will never be happy or will there always be a chance to return to happiness? People suffering from decidophobia are so afraid of making (wrong) choices that they depend on others to make their choices for them.
You can spend a lifetime second-guessing your own choices. That is why I decided not to regret any choice I make. In this world, this one continuous moment of consciousness, I will make my choices and stick with them, even if the outcomes are less than desirable. Perhaps there is a me in one of those parallel worlds that made all the right choices and is living the best life imaginable. That thought is enough…for now.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
What do you see through those eyes of yours?
I must admit, I do not think this is very impressive for an opening post but it is what I have and what I give to you.
Your perception of your world, your worldview or frame of reference, colours every aspect of your life. It determines how you react to other people and how you behave in certain situations. None of the above should be earth shattering news. Extensive psychological studies have been done on this topic. I will not list them nor will I claim I have I read them. Psychological analysis is not my intention, although the psychological content is high
How do I perceive the world around me and how does that affect my life as a whole? To answer this question it was necessary to make an attempt to analyze my own behaviour and those of others as objectively as possible but as you will realize objectivity is not only impossible but counter-productive to this exercise. If you do not know the colours of your own filters, it is impossible to identify the filters of others.
As a bit of background information, this is not an idea that I came up with last month or even last year. It is a concept I have juggled with, consciously and subconsciously since my early teens.
The thought process started with the following question: How do other people perceive me? I want to make it clear though, this was not in order to seek validation or acceptance through others. Quite frankly I couldn’t care less what they think of me but I am however still interested in the answer to the question. Call it academic interest if you like.
The reason for this question stems from the fact that I believe I know myself very well. I believe there is nothing about myself that I hide from myself. Unfortunately I cannot prove this to myself. Only through interaction with others can it be proved or disproved, but even that is not what bothers me. My question is this: Can they see the things that I know about myself? Am I living my life so true to myself that their perception of me comes close to my perception of myself?
I believe this question applies to every one of us although I also believe few people can be bothered to find the answer. In attempt to discover the answer I tried to take on other people’s perspective, tried to determine in what colours they see me. Needless to say I have only had limited success. In order for there to be any success at all you have to know the other person very well. There aren’t that many people who I am that close with.
That is not to say I did not learn anything. Identifying differences in worldviews can be quite enlightening in terms of the inner workings of your own and other people’s minds. Reactions can be predicted to a certain extent. Even failure to predict a certain reaction can be insightful.
So now that I sound like an asocial pseudo-scientific experimenter I feel it is important to say that gaining insight into the thought processes of others is something that came to me in my teens. It has become a second nature to the extent that I am not even aware that I am doing it. It is only in hindsight that I review situations and draw conclusions. How would I have acted in reverse rolls? Why would I have acted that way? What are my underlying motivations? Are they valid? In this I learn more of my own worldview and the worldview of others intrigue me even more.
Are some worldviews better than others? I think some worldviews make it easier to live life while others make it more difficult. Something to remember is that another person’s reality is not something you have any influence over. You can not make someone else see things differently if their reality does not allow things to be different. The only reality you can have control over is your own. It is not easy to change your reality but control over your reality can increase with time.
I believe my own worldview has become an amorphous concept that changes and adapts as necessary. How do I see the world? It differs from day to day. The parts that seem good and the parts that help, tend to be more solid. I try to keep the negative parts of my worldview fluid. It is difficult to change any part of your worldview that has already solidified. Once you believe it is true, it becomes true for you. It is a trap that I would not like to fall into, again.
I would really like to go into some of the worldviews that I have come across but I am not a full fledged psychologist (nor will I probably ever be) and describing them will take more thought on my part. Perhaps another time ;)
Your perception of your world, your worldview or frame of reference, colours every aspect of your life. It determines how you react to other people and how you behave in certain situations. None of the above should be earth shattering news. Extensive psychological studies have been done on this topic. I will not list them nor will I claim I have I read them. Psychological analysis is not my intention, although the psychological content is high
How do I perceive the world around me and how does that affect my life as a whole? To answer this question it was necessary to make an attempt to analyze my own behaviour and those of others as objectively as possible but as you will realize objectivity is not only impossible but counter-productive to this exercise. If you do not know the colours of your own filters, it is impossible to identify the filters of others.
As a bit of background information, this is not an idea that I came up with last month or even last year. It is a concept I have juggled with, consciously and subconsciously since my early teens.
The thought process started with the following question: How do other people perceive me? I want to make it clear though, this was not in order to seek validation or acceptance through others. Quite frankly I couldn’t care less what they think of me but I am however still interested in the answer to the question. Call it academic interest if you like.
The reason for this question stems from the fact that I believe I know myself very well. I believe there is nothing about myself that I hide from myself. Unfortunately I cannot prove this to myself. Only through interaction with others can it be proved or disproved, but even that is not what bothers me. My question is this: Can they see the things that I know about myself? Am I living my life so true to myself that their perception of me comes close to my perception of myself?
I believe this question applies to every one of us although I also believe few people can be bothered to find the answer. In attempt to discover the answer I tried to take on other people’s perspective, tried to determine in what colours they see me. Needless to say I have only had limited success. In order for there to be any success at all you have to know the other person very well. There aren’t that many people who I am that close with.
That is not to say I did not learn anything. Identifying differences in worldviews can be quite enlightening in terms of the inner workings of your own and other people’s minds. Reactions can be predicted to a certain extent. Even failure to predict a certain reaction can be insightful.
So now that I sound like an asocial pseudo-scientific experimenter I feel it is important to say that gaining insight into the thought processes of others is something that came to me in my teens. It has become a second nature to the extent that I am not even aware that I am doing it. It is only in hindsight that I review situations and draw conclusions. How would I have acted in reverse rolls? Why would I have acted that way? What are my underlying motivations? Are they valid? In this I learn more of my own worldview and the worldview of others intrigue me even more.
Are some worldviews better than others? I think some worldviews make it easier to live life while others make it more difficult. Something to remember is that another person’s reality is not something you have any influence over. You can not make someone else see things differently if their reality does not allow things to be different. The only reality you can have control over is your own. It is not easy to change your reality but control over your reality can increase with time.
I believe my own worldview has become an amorphous concept that changes and adapts as necessary. How do I see the world? It differs from day to day. The parts that seem good and the parts that help, tend to be more solid. I try to keep the negative parts of my worldview fluid. It is difficult to change any part of your worldview that has already solidified. Once you believe it is true, it becomes true for you. It is a trap that I would not like to fall into, again.
I would really like to go into some of the worldviews that I have come across but I am not a full fledged psychologist (nor will I probably ever be) and describing them will take more thought on my part. Perhaps another time ;)
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